I’m heading to the polls today with one primary goal in mind: to stop Hillary. And there’s only one way to achieve that goal: to vote for Donald Trump.
In 2008, I refused to hold my nose and vote for John McCain. I didn’t see the utter destruction to America that wrecking ball Barack Obama could do. Now I know that if Hillary wins today, it will be the end of America as we know it. There will be no chance to ever recover what we have lost. The shameful transformation of America will be locked in.
All of Obama’s unconstitutional executive orders will remain.
Obamacare will slowly be shifted into a socialist one-payer system, destroying America’s leadership in world-class health care.
More regulations will be piled on top business, making the economy further groan under the weight. More spending will beget more taxation and borrowing. Been looking for a better job? A full-time job? Hoping to get better pay? [insert sound of Hillary’s cackle.]
Hillary will likely appoint three or more US Supreme Court judges, shifting it into a left-wing Constitution-hating body that will look to international courts for its judgments.
The Second Amendment will be restricted. The Fourth Amendment will continue to be neglected.
The welfare state will be expanded. Illegal immigration will not be restrained, but rewarded. Terrorists will be imported under the guise of compassion.
Our military will continue to disintegrate and our enemies will grow strong and push us around. We will cower before them. We will give in and humiliate ourselves. We will pay more ransoms and let our friends get taken over.
And the Clinton years of scandal after scandal and the selling of the White House that occurred from 1992 to 2000 will look like child’s play during the next eight years. It will be utterly exhausting keeping up with their corruption and criminality.
America will be trashed. It will be over.
There will be no looking to finally elect a Republican that will “fix it” in 2020 or 2024. There will be nothing left to fix. The demolition of all we hold dear will be permanent.
So today, I’m voting for Donald Trump, because he is the only one that has any chance of beating Hillary Clinton. A vote for anyone else—or a lack of voting—is a full acceptance of the destruction of America as we know it.
There’s no guarantee that Trump would do the right thing on any of the issues above. At heart, I’m betting he’s as liberal as Hillary—but he’s made a lot of promises to people. Maybe he will keep some of them.
But one thing is for sure: it will be a whole lot easier to impeach Trump than it will be to impeach a Clinton. So a vote for Trump is a vote for a potential President Pence within a year or so.
For Congress, I’m recommending Trump voters go the opposite way. Unless your Senator or Congressman has been labeled an “extremist” by the GOP and the media, he has likely been part of the problem, part of the aiding and abetting Obama’s transformation of America. They do not deserve reelection.
In the Senate, Majority Leader Mitch McConnell has destroyed any attempt to fight Obama. It’s no wonder that the Obamacare headquarters just happened to land in Kentucky, his home state. Do you think Mitch is going to try to do anything that takes that political plum away from his voters? Hell no. But reelecting a Republican Senate is just going to put him back at the head of the American giveaway.
What good has Kelly Ayotte or John McCain done? They’ve given the store away to Obama, too afraid to fight him on anything. Mark Kirk wouldn’t take a stand on anything remotely right-wing for fear it would make him unelectable, and he’s STILL unelectable. The list goes on: Richard Burr, Ron Johnson, Lisa Murkowski, Roy Blunt, Pat Toomey. What have they contributed to defeating Obama’s terrible agenda? Nothing. Even Tim Scott, originally elected as a Tea Party favorite, has gone establishment. His pet issue? Education. That is not the job of a US Senator.
When we gave the GOP the House, we were told they couldn’t get anything done unless we gave them the Senate. So we worked hard and gave them the Senate. Ever since, we’ve been chastised and mocked when asking why they can’t get anything done when they control Congress. We’ve been told that all of that means nothing if they don’t have the White House. We’ve been told that controlling the Senate doesn’t carry any weight.
So let’s abide all the lectures we’ve received. Let’s throw all the lazy ones out, the ones without cajones, which is about all of them, save the rabblerousers like Ted Cruz and Mike Lee and Rand Paul. It won’t matter if the Senate is controlled by Democrats if we control the White House, right? Because by the GOP argument, the Democrats won’t be able to do a single thing to stop whatever a GOP President wants. They will have to pass all his budgets without any reductions. They’ll have to pass all his nominees. They won’t fight his executive orders. They will be as impotent as the GOP Senate has been.
And if Hillary wins today, having a Democrat Senate will be far better for speeding the collapse of America, for turning us into a socialist paradise just as quick as possible–because the sooner we get there, the sooner the paradise will be revealed as a nightmare, and maybe then, Americans will wake up and clamor for the days when there was something called the American Dream.
Either way, using the GOP leadership’s logic, it’s no big deal if we lose the Senate. The White House holds all the power. We’ll get rid of all the dead weight. We’ll clear the slate for some new right-minded guys. And we won’t have some harrumphing potentate at its head trying to protect Obamacare so that he keeps its shiny corrupt headquarters in his state.
Washington Post columnist Dana Milbank used his column today to have his fun smacking Republicans around, deriding the GOP for not sufficiently pandering to the Latino community to buy their votes.
He titled his column “Does the GOP care about Latino voters?” But it seems he wanted to call it “Why does the GOP hate Latinos?”
He tsk-tsks that the GOP doesn’t want to give citizenship to illegals that go to college for a few semesters (squeezing out citizens for seats in classes and dollars to pay for them). Milbank, however, doesn’t mention the college portion of the so-called Dream Act. He phrases it that the GOP wants to deny citizenship to any illegal that serves in our military. Apparently Milbank doesn’t know that it is already US policy, supported by Republicans, to grant citizenship to foreign-born soldiers serving in our armed forces. What is not current policy is to permit illegal immigrants to join. (By the way, not all illegal immigrants are Mexican, or even Latino. Do we really want to encourage al-Qaeda members to cross over the border, join the Army and voila!?) Fair and balanced perspective is not Milbank’s point here. Smearing the GOP with bigoted stereotypes is his point.
He tosses a few other smoke bombs in: “Arizona-style” immigration laws, a ludicrous comment about electrifying the border fence by a defunct GOP presidential candidate who never had a chance of going anywhere, and “anti-immigrant” rhetoric (despite the fact that the GOP has spoken quite loudly about being PRO-immigrant, but anti-ILLEGAL-immigrant).
Milbank doesn’t let facts get in the way of his feelings. He claims the Senate GOP “roughed up” a Cuban-American nominee for the 11th circuit of the US Court of Appeals. In reality, Milbank is doing nothing more than carrying Democratic water. It’s their latest trumped-up talking points. As he notes in his column, Adalberto Jose Jordan will be confirmed today, but Sen. Rand Paul tried to stop $1.3 billion in foreign aid from going to Egypt while they hold our citizens hostage. So he put a hold on Jordan’s confirmation in an effort to force a vote on a potentially life-or-death matter. There is no “roughing up,” or anything bad being done to Jordan. He will be a judge, and just maybe, due to Paul’s efforts, Egypt will release our citizens and permit them to exit the country freely.
But the Senate Democrats put out their talking points, which Milbank so dutifully reprinted. Acording to Roll Call, in a story that quotes only liberal sources:
But if no agreement is reached, the vote would take place Wednesday morning, forcing the Senate to waste up to two days and halting progress on a surface transportation bill currently on the floor.
“What’s happened on the Senate floor tonight is just ridiculous,” said Sen. Barbara Boxer (D-Calif.), chairman of the Environment and Public Works Committee. “We are supposed to be on a highway bill, a bill that will protect 1.8 million jobs and create” more.
Just before the Senate adjourned for the evening, Sen. Maria Cantwell (D-Wash.), in announcing the Senate’s business for Tuesday, said Democrats expect Jordan to be confirmed Tuesday.
There are about 20 Americans among 43 individuals who are accused by Egyptian authorities of illegally receiving foreign money in a case against nongovernmental organizations that have pushed for democratic reform in Egypt. The case has strained relations between the two nations.
Paul wants to use the $1.3 billion a year the United States provides to Egypt in aid as an incentive for the Egyptian authorities to release the Americans.
Attention, Senator Boxer. One of the people being detained in Egypt is the son of the US Secretary of Transportation. How ironic she thinks a 30-hour delay in a transportation bill is more important.
But the real doozy in Milbank’s column comes at the very end. He ridicules Sen. John McCain (R-AZ) for promoting various things for which his state is known, such as lettuce and the invention of the chimichanga.
Milbank uses that chimichanga mention as a chance to end on a dig, to really stick it to the GOP. He concludes his column with the lines:
The chimichanga? It may be the only thing Republicans have left to offer Latinos.
That has stoked a firestorm in the twitter community of conservatives and Latinos. It’s being taken as a slur against Latinos, a perpetuation of low stereotypes.
But I would argue that it’s even lower than that. Apparently Milbank didn’t notice what he quoted. The chimichanga is not traditional Mexican food. It’s an American bastardization of the burrito. Folklore claims it was invented and named when a burrito fell into a fryer, and the cook began to cuss, but caught herself mid-exclamation and changed it to the Spanish word for “thingamajig.” Thus was born the “chimichanga.”
But to claim it is Latino is like serving up chop suey to Chinese Americans. Or trying to lure some mythical amalgamation of Scandinavians with cones of Haagen Dazs. Or saying blackface may be the only thing Republicans have to offer to black Americans.
Such a statement is a stereotype of a stereotype. Chimichangas, chop suey, blackface and Haagen Dazs. These are all things made to seem exotic and appealing for people that are afraid to enjoy the authentic cultural offerings of the communities they purport to represent. Only someone badly misinformed would equate chimichangas with the rich and hearty flavors of real Latino cooking. Someone who views Latinos through elitist eyes, who probably thinks Taco Bell and Sonic’s jalapeno poppers are the height of authentic Mexican cuisine, would write a line like that—and think it’s a funny little quip.
But who should then tweet that Milbank’s stinky slur was the “line of the day”? None other than Obama’s campaign manager, Jim Messina.
Line of the day from WAPO’s Dana Milbank: “The chimichanga? It may be the only thing Republicans have left to offer Latinos.”
There’s a difference between tweeting someone else’s words and calling them “the line of the day.” Messina knows that, but he hopes his buddies in the media will go along with that angle, as he tweets a link to…an image page at…Politico.com. Of an Obama campaign memo touting their cherry-picked poll numbers of Latinos preferring Obama’s devastating mismanagement of America to the GOP’s attempts to keep us from drowning.
No wonder Messina can be so smug in his smears and slurs. He has a major political website storing images of his memos for him to tweet at will.
[Lights dim. Timpani drum roll. Baritone-voiced announcer booms throughout the auditorium.]
Ladies and gentlemen…welcome! to the 2011 Second Annual Sooper-Proodey Awards. Here are your hosts, SooperMexican and Prudence Paine.
[Curtains part. Sooper enters in a dashing black tuxedo and red cape, with Proodey in a matching evening gown, to uproarious applause. Soop smiles and motions for everyone to take their seats.]
Thank you, thank you. You are too kind. Gracias. Thank you. It’s such a pleasure to have you all join us once again as we take a moment on New Year’s Day to look over all the scandals, shenanigans, milestones and memories of the past year. As with our inaugural 2010 ceremony, we’ll mark our progress with comparisons to the previous year. Proodey?
Thank you, Soop. It’s such an exciting night! What a glamorous audience! So many glittering awards! Without further ado, let’s get the big show rolling with our first golden trophy:
[The still punch-drunk Boeing staggers toward the stage but stumbles and falls into some starlet’s lap. Audience gasps, giggles and guffaws.]
Ooof! Boeing’s gonna have one major hangover tomorrow! That’s okay, boys. We’ll send your award over to you, with an icepack and some bloody mary mix. Take it away, Soop! What’s up next?
[Sooper takes the microphone.] Thank you, Proodence.
On a more somber note, every year we see capricious mother Gaia strike down our fellow man for our sins against our emotional global mother. In 2010, Haiti experienced one of the worst nature-caused disasters, and 2011 had its own share of anguish and misery. A massive earthquake struck off the coast of Japan, which triggered a disastrous tsunami. Storms hit Alabama with terrible results, flooding enveloped Thailand, and a 7.2 earthquake caused many deaths in Turkey.
In order to recognize that life has many trials and tribulations, we offer the following acknowledgement:
THE WORST GAIA-CURSED DISASTER TO BEFALL MAN FOR 2011
…and the winnah is…
The 2012 GOP Presidential Candidates!!!
Yes, yes, even the most positive Pollyannaish pro-Republican ideologue could not but grimace at the stumbling and bumbling events of the 2012 GOP run to replace Obama. From Cain’s numerous “indiscretions,” which were obviously trumped up by pizza-hating conspirators, and Rick Perry’s marble-mouthed rhetorical skills, to Michele Bachmann’s flapping eyelashes, Ron Paul’s Paulophrenia, and Mitt Romney’s placid smile programmed and poll-tested by his Wall Street puppeteers, no one seems pleased by the debates. No one, that is, except the Democrats, as the venerable Thomas Sowell points out.
Let’s not forget whiny Rick Santorum, demanding attention like a petulant teacher’s pet, or Jon Huntsman, the only one running for European president of the United States, with his not-so-subtle condescension and clumsy attempts at edgy humor. There was the awful effort by Donald Trump’s toupee to moderate a debate in order to promote his show and advocate the bombing of China and the forced extraction of Iraqi children’s vital fluids.
Today the feeding frenzy will be consummated by the first caucus, in Iowa, and the circular firing squad will arm itself with automatic weaponry to take more victims on this bloody, weary road to challenge Obama. More and more, we, the conservative public, are seized with the boring dread of impending election acceptance. Perhaps this campaign season has done to us what 40 years of Europeanized social engineering could not do: afflicted us with existential ennui!
[Prudence emerges from the curtain and briskly joins SooperMexican at the microphone. Smiling she says:] *ahem* Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen. I need just a quick word with my cohost here…
[With a clenched smile, she whispers into Soop’s ear. The audience hushes to strain to listen to her barely audible words over the PA.]Mexy! While I can tolerate some gentle jabbing at MY Michele and the two Ricks, I did not know that you were going to protect one candidate from any lambasting. And how convenient that unmentioned candidate just happens to be YOUR candidate, the Noot!!!!
[Soop gently shoves Proodey behind curtain]
As I was saying… Not evenPaul Krugman could see an upside to this disaster, and he’s a Keynesian! I need a tequila shot or three. Proodey, take away the next award!
Thank you, NewtperMexican.
[Proodey slips a mickey into Soop’s drink while he’s distracted by her dress.]
Last year, the Tea Party changed the face of Congress and put fear in the pants of big spenders. Did Time magazine make the Tea Party the Man of the Year, acknowledge that they had made the greatest impact on the events of 2010? Silly question, I know. Of course it did not. Because Time does not agree with the Tea Party’s objectives.
Yet Time had the brazenness to name a bunch of rock-throwing, raping, cop-car-defecating, lice-infested hipsters as its 2011 Man of the Year. It raised on to its liberal pedestal people who have no mission other than to provoke local police forces and municipal governments that have no means to resolve their unstated concerns even if they agreed with them.
Therefore, in honor of Time‘s glorification of civic inanity and hippie nostalgia, we present…
TIME’S SCAM OF THE YEAR AWARD!
We searched through all the Occupy Wall Street videos to find the one that best captures their purpose, their intelligence, their method of communicating to shine the light on Time’s vaunted Man of the Year.
And the winner is…..
Nightmare on Occupy Wall Street![audience gives twinkles]
Ecce the prime example of what Time (the measure, not the magazine) will soon forget, if it ever took notice in the first place:
Take it away, el Sooper! Not that I’m implying that you steal stuff. By the way, I’d like my hubcaps back, please….
They have been appropriated for the glorious Reconquista.
This year has seen the coming-of-age of that venerable social media microblogging platform that I like to call… el Twitter. We saw celebrities, sports figures, politicians, pundits all make headlines because of their inane and often incredibly stupid gaffes on twitter! In addition, we saw many bloggers and citizen journalists use this media to seize fifteen minutes of fame, and beyond!
And the winner is… [breaks pinata… kids grab all the candies. Soop waltzes into the mexi-throng, grabs an envelope and opens it…]
The winner is Alec Baldwin!!
[the crowd goes wild, laughing and clapping and tweeting insults to the #AlecBaldwin hashtag]
Because he’s been committed to a sanatorium, to accept his prize is his interlocutor and twitter nemesis, SooperMexican!! [hands award to himself]
Only Alec Baldwin could carry the moron torch that hath been passed on by Keith Olbermann with his liberal twitter rant spurtings. He began his lonely drunken march into insanity by tussling with a very handsome and witty Sooper Mexican on twitter once, and then once again. He insulted America’s moms, and tried to mock conservatives on twitter by comparing his follower and tweet counts! Now there’s a man who’s secure with himself.
To add insult to his own mental injury, he caused a scene on an airplane, had to be tossed off by the captain, and tweeted arrogantly about it. He then shamelessly portrayed the pilot apologizing to Baldwin on Saturday Night Live, showing the entire world his smug vainglory cannot be quelled! Thankfully, the ridicule he received made him recede from the twittersphere at least…
Finally, as a Christmas gift to America, Alec sadly announced that his dream had died of rising above a bit character on a sitcom with poor ratings and running for mayor of New York City.
As the writer of the twitter pebble that got the big idiotic elitist rock rolling towards the abyss, I’d like to say, “Thank you, Alec. Thank you so much.”
[Sooper bows to a standing ovation, breaks the award over his knee, and motions to Prudence.]
That was quite a sooper smackdown! And the bad behavior continued all over the world all year long—and not just by celebrities. Politicians competed to see who could crash and burn in the most dazzling sex scandal. In honor of 2010’s most bizarre sex scandal leading to the resignation of a political figure, we present…
Arnold Schwarzenegger! He admitted to his mistress and his 13-year-old love child. Since he waited until after his term as a liberal Republican governor of California ran out before he revealed this teenage tidbit, he didn’t lose his job—-but he did lose a wife…maybe.
Then there’s John Edwards. Fortunately for us, he never made it into the Pennsylvania Avenue job for which he tried to sell his soul on Ebay, so it wasn’t his to lose. Yet there was enough proof that an old woman (and others) bought him, so he could pass her money on to hush up his pregnant honey. After years of his running from the law and paparazzi, a grand jury handed down an indictment earlier this year, leaving him to insinuate that he was contemplating suicide and begging his mistress to marry him or move in so that she can’t testify against him.
Out of all of these philanderers, the one that tickles us the most, and therefore the winner, is….may I have the envelope please…
[Andrew Breitbart moseys out and over to the microphone, carrying the award envelope. He addresses the surprised audience, as their bewilderment turns to excited cheers of recognition.]
I’m here coincidentally. I just arrived at LaGuardia and at the media’s request, I came on over. I didn’t know they were going to be announcing this. I’m staying at a hotel about three blocks away, so I decided to come on by and see who the winner was. [Audience murmurs. Breitbart rips open the envelope]
And the winner of the Tickle Me Massa Award is…
…for perpetuating a false malicious meme in blaming the messenger, blowing up his own job while still keeping his Twitter open (unlike Alec Baldwin doing the reverse)…
[Thunderous audience applause]
Thank you, Andrew Breitbart for stopping by. [Audience applauds and stands, as he walks off the stage]
Let’s use this moment to present our new…
This special prize goes to our favorite RedEye correspondent on the Fox News late night show. We completely neglected this prestigious award last year, so this fella will be forever known as our first recipient. [audience shifts nervously in their seats]
And the winner is… [maracas shake]
[Audience erupts into cheers and begins a conga line through the auditorium to Juanlu Montoya’s “Ana Maria”!]
But now, back to our regularly scheduled programming, and here’s SooperMexy with another major award!
[Sooper saunters out, margarita in hand, as a mariachi band plays a peppy tune.]
I’m not sure what’s in this drink. Or what’s going on at this awards show.
As we peer glassy-eyed through the hazy margarita glass of news stories past, we’re reminded of the domestic terror attack way back in February 2010 on the IRS building in Austin, Texas. The media took no small measure of glee in quickly connecting it to every conservative they could think of, short of claiming it was an inside job organized by Abe Lincoln. 2011 saw its own share of some of the worst knee-jerk media reactions to underdeveloped stories. But with the emergence of New Media, the common person has been able to define for himself the context of the news he reads, and even craft his own headlines! In fact, pinko commie media has gotten so bad, conservatives have gotten tired of hearing about it; it’s the same old story, over and over.
In that spirit, let’s delve into boredom once more, and see the worst…
KNEE-JERK MEDIA REACTION of 2011!
[tweets out to the prize committee from his iPhone. Receives a direct message… reads:]
And the winner is.. whoah! This unprecedented!!! A Three-Way tie!!! [confused applause]
The winners are… the pathetic media coverage of the Arab Spring in Egypt, the tragic shooting of Gabby Giffords, and the Oslo shooter!
The supposed Arab Spring in Egypt was lauded by media pundits as a democratic uprising against a Middle Eastern tyrant, Hosni Mubarak. As the coverage continued, as much as news outlets wanted to assign credit to their saint and savior Barack Obama, he would not speak out in favor of the revolution, nor would he send any support. The days ticked by as his bony, gangly finger stuck stubbornly in the air, trying to sense what wind of fortune would direct his vague and ill-conceived foreign policy. Meanwhile, the media, and later, the Occupy protestors, gladly embraced the overthrow, with not a thought to the chance that maybe this pro-Western despot might be the only thing keeping the extremist Islamo-fascists from power.
Second, just to be fair, is the knee-jerk reaction of conservatives, including myself, when the horrible news of the Oslo shootings came out. Immediately, and I think reasonably, many conservatives posited that this was an Islamist attack. As the details came out, we realized that this was the shooter the media was waiting for: Caucasian, supposedly Christian, easily labeled as a right-wing extremist. Then, surprisingly, as more details came out, he seemed to end up being some weird mix of European nationalism and Nietzschean power-of-the-will atheist existentialism.
Finally, the terrible shooting of Gabby Giffords (D-AZ) provided us with the worst and most maddening of knee-jerk reactions by the media. Before the victims’ blood could dry, the media had already gleefully pinned this on Sarah Palin and other conservatives. Markos of the Daily Kos broke the speed of sound while running to type this accusation: “Mission Accomplished, Sarah Palin.” They voraciously reported on any tidbit of insinuation that the insane shooter, Jared Loughner, was a Tea Partier (he wasn’t), a Rush Limbaugh enthusiast (nope, not that either), or a rabid conservative (wrong again). As it turns out, he was obsessed with a grammatical conspiracy that brainwashes Americans.
Far from admitting his insanity, and their culpability, the media will allow the occasional vague attribution of guilt to Sarah Palin, the lightning rod of liberal criticism. This was so egregious that it occasioned an famous opinion column by Jonah Goldberg entitled “To Hell With You People,” wherein he documents instance after instance of Democrats calling conservatives terrorists, and then claiming the high ground when accusing us of violent hate-speech that supposedly led to the Giffords’ shooting.
So to you, the gutless, idiotic, double-faced media, we give you this award. We’re sure there will be many more to come!
Ahhh, what a show! *hic* As this ceremony and what’s left of my sobriety come to a close, I’d like to thank everyone for such a great year in twitter politics! Oh the hashtag games, and snarky political commentaritweets that we had! And a great big thanks to guest bloggerette Prudence Paine!!
And thank you to my debonair guest blogger, SooperMexican. What a night it’s been! Your chariot awaits, Mexy. [loads him into a wheelbarrow and starts rolling him out]
[SooperMexy calls out over his shoulder:] But before you go, vote on the last GringOpinion poll of 2011: which one of the awardees should win the grand prize? Write-ins welcome!
[curtain closes. orchestra begins the recessional music. audience meanders out in a daze…AFTER casting their poll vote!]
It’s been a while since I bothered to care who became the chairman of the Republican National Committee (RNC). In fact, the chairmen of the DNC come more easily to mind, as they tend to be the ones always on TV, passionately spreading their propaganda to a friendly press. The RNC guys seem mild-mannered and forgettable by comparison.
It would have been nice if Michael Steele had been forgettable during his reign as RNC chair. Unfortunately, he has stumbled and tripped his way through the past two years, making gaffe after gaffe, financial error after error. The media has definitely given him more attention than his recent predecessors, but for all the wrong reasons.
During the 2010 elections, the RNC itself did a lousy job. They attempted to protect the worst of the Republican field from defeat, simply because they were incumbents, part of the good ol’ boy network, or considered “moderate”—that is, “spineless” when the going gets tough. Even after Tea Party candidates beat the RNC favorites in the primaries, the RNC could barely stand to support the Republican candidate in those districts, withholding all but the most meager financial backing, candidate assistance or positive media statements.
Conservative Republican voters had to bypass the RNC to send money directly to good candidates that the RNC tried to thwart. It doesn’t seem like the RNC has learned its lesson either. The clueless Steele is running for reelection, along with a large number of people unheard of by me and everyone else who isn’t heavily involved in party politics (about 99.99% of the population)—until a debate televised on C-SPAN, that is, enlarging narrowing the public’s ignorance of the candidates awareness to 99.95% of the population.
One name that I have heard of is Saul Anuzis, who has been successfully promoting himself through social media.
On Anuzis’ Twitter profile, he declares himself to be a “Newt Fan.” It doesn’t seem like any RNC chairman candidate should be already supporting one of the potential GOP 2012 presidential candidates.
To give Anuzis the benefit of doubt, I tweeted him to ask whether the newt in “Newt Fan” was indeed Gingrich or some sports team I had never heard of. He never tweeted back.
The mystery is somewhat solved by his candidacy video, which features Gingrich prominently in it. As I am not a Newt fan, the fact that Anuzis is is enough to make me want to look elsewhere for a chairman.
Unfortunately, for me, Anuzis came across as the best candidate out of the lackluster group of chairman candidates. I have to admit that anyone that has even read Bastiat’s The Law gets my attention, but to name it as their favorite book is…wow. Then he followed that answer with another excellent selection, naming Ludwig Von Mises as a political hero.
But can that override holding up Newt “Sitting on a Bench With Nancy Pelosi in a Liberal Propaganda Commercial” Gingrich as a hero? It’s a close call, but fortunately another option became apparent in the debate: Ann Wagner.
Wagner was sharp and conservative in her performance—and even a bit funny.
Ann Wagner is a tough, no-nonsense conservative leader with the highest integrity, and has a long track record of raising money and winning elections. She’s also a terrific communicator who understands the role of chairman is to get the fundamentals right, but has the skills and gravitas to go head to head with Tim Kaine and the Democrats when needed.
Given Bolton’s solid conservative credentials, I respect his opinion. Combine that with what I myself have seen in Wagner and I’m throwing my support behind her.
As the RNC rules require that the chair and vice chair co-chair be of opposite sex, I support Anuzis for Vice Co-Chair. [See note below. Silly me. I misunderstood the election process for co-chair, and Anuzis was not an eligible candidate for that slot.]
By then, Reince Priebus had run far into the lead, and became unstoppable.
Also, please note the correction above, as indicated by stricken text. I was mistaken in thinking that the co-chair position (which I called vice chair in error) was elected by means of second place in the vote. Thanks to Ali A. Akbar on Twitter, I was corrected that it was a separate race and that it was likely too late for losing chairman candidates to properly file for it.
And now for something completely wonky: For historical record-keeping, here’s few other links I had collected along the way regarding this race.
As the internet rolls over into the New Year, I have joined with a highly entertaining guest blogger to present the 2010 Sooper Awards Ceremony. Please give a hand of applause to my friend and partner in political roasting, SooperMexican. We hope to make this an annual event, as we impart awards to political events of the past year through the rosy-colored lens of the year previous! Confused yet? Hang in there and it will become clear. (We hope.)
Yes, that’s right. The “Election of Recovery,” as they like to call it over at SooperMexican Central, was a deep repudiation of all the slings and arrows that our fair president has flung at us, the common rabble, from atop his ill-gotten, gilded throne on Pennsylvania Avenue.
The unwashed, bitter-clinging masses have grown tired of his budget-obliterating spending, his vindictive, arrogant attitude, and his flaccid, inept execution of his elected obligations.
While his unapologetic bending over for foreign potentates and domestic opportunists took mere seconds, we hope and pray that this latter bending will continue well into the 2012 election!
THE STIMULATE AMERICA AWARD
The Obama administration got off to an aggressive start, manhandling the public assets in the most egregious way in the Great Stimulus Boondoggle of 2009. Joe Biden is still working on counting all the waste, fraud and abuse that was shipped from the public coffers to FOOs (Friends of Obama) around the world. Yes, world—-as in funding, say, a $832,200 genital-washing study in South Africa to stimulate the US economy.
This year, the Stimulate America Award goes to…
[opens the envelope]
the Transportation Safety Administration!
[applause, while removing shoes and belts]
Yes, the TSA has gone far beyond the call of duty—-and the 4th Amendment—-for getting up close and personal in their efforts to stimulate the public’s peace of mind by groping all their bits and pieces. f keeping the list of all the terrorists she catches with explosives in their pants. Of course she won’t catch any, because terrorists have myriad ways to go through all TSA procedures without having their bomb materials detected.
At least she’s done an excellent job keeping up the pretense that government-mandated sexual assault of the American public will keep us safe, while giving perverts and Gloria Allred a thrill. Just what a Secretary of Homeland Security is supposed to do.
OTRO MAS POR FAVOR!
THE PIMPIN’ AIN’T EASY AWARD
In 2009, we saw the beginning of the end for our favorite anti-American, government-subsidized community organization organizing the community for social injustice: ACORN, aka the Atheist Commie Organization for the Redistribution of NeoSocialism. The unlikely and surprising architects of its demise were the spunky and gaudily dressed James O’Keefe and his saucy accomplice, Hannah Giles. You all know the story by now, so let’s fast forward to the awardee for this year….
and the Pimpin’ Ain’t Easy Award goes to…
[opens the envelope]
the Death of the DREAM Act!
In one of the most obvious and detestable shows of political pandering in recent memory, Harry Reid and the congressional Democrats concocted a bit of political theater for the birds – mashing up the freshly plucked wormy legislation we call the DREAM Act in their mealy mouths and force-feeding their gluttonous, self-serving constituents, the Hispanic supporters that kept a few of them in office.
Luckily for our stalwart Republic, this hastily written bill was only half-heartedly pushed by our Leftist friends, just enough to secure another election cycle’s worth of pigmented votes without actually effecting any change for the downtrodden serfs to whom they give only lip service.
Harry Reid out-pimped James O’Keefe by whoring out the Latin vote, taking it for all it’s worth, and spanking it on its bottom as he kicked ’er to the curb! Good job, Harry!
THE TWO-FACED JANUS AWARD
In ancient Greece, some citizens adorned the top of their doorways with the image of Janus, the double-faced god, symbolizing that every entry is also an exit. In 2009, it would have been appropriate to decorate the entrance of the Senate with the gnarled, wrinkly, grotesque image of Ben Nelson, leader of the Blue Dog Democrats, who promised to uphold their moral objection to the federal financing of abortions by refusing to vote for ObamaCare. Pro-life supporters wasted much effort calling to urge them to stick to their guns, but they chose to stick out their hands instead, accepting sleazy payoffs once Barack named the right price to purchase their principles.
For 2010, the only comparable competitor for the Two-Faced Janus Award is….
[opens the envelope]
The lame duck GOPers!
[applause as feather confetti flutters down]
After scoring an unprecedented victory in the 2010 elections, seizing the House of Reps and evening up the Senate, the Republicans decided to act as if they had been struck with amnesia, teleported themselves back to November 4th 2008, and eagerly re-assumed the role of defeated losers.
Once again, the GOP filled the Christmas season with the essence of lame. The American public gave them a mandate to reject the socialist, budget-busting, impotent policies of the Democrats, but the Republicans behaved like a cheap date, hardly even bothering to feign resistance while granting Obama another nearly trillion dollar stimulus bill, as described by Chuck Krauthammer.
At least good ol’ Nelson teased us a little before screwing us, but the GOPers made all the right noises, and gave it up to Barack only weeks later. Then to add insult to injury, they let him pass his ridiculous START treaty, allowing his sycophantic press to reenact the leg-tingly adoration and unearned esteem they lavished upon him two years ago.
Congrats, GOP. You sold out the country, but you won a coveted Janus award. Keep it up, and in two years, you’ll find out how easily an entrance can also be an exit.
Wait, There’s MORE!
THE AFRICAN-AMERICAN ACTION FIGURE AWARD
In 2009, Barack Obama chin-jutted his way through the dense jungle of prescient criticisms of his inexperience, arrogance, and unpreparedness. Still, he held out the dim candle of historic hope, and like voting moths to a flame, the American public flitted and followed him towards the radiance he claimed was the light at the end of the tunnel.
And still the gaudacity of hope sustained the hope-springs in the heart of man—earnest-sounding promises were made and swallowed, and everywhere a cult of Obama sprung up, selling icons of our savior borne of mystery.
As we all know, a prophet is always derided in his own hometown, and so this year, this Revelatory Icon Award goes to….
[applause and fist bumps]
South Carolina’s leading Democrats howled when the unknown, unemployed man became their nominee to the US Senate seat, and they vigorously decried the legitimacy of his nomination. He beat the establishment democratic nominee without any campaigning, without any yard signs, prompting some to doubt whether he honestly won the nomination.
While running for a senate seat in the greatest country in the world since its inception 6,000 years ago, Alvin was also fending off prosecution for a felony obscenity charge, wherein he is accused of showing pornographic images to a unwilling 18-year-old woman. In interviews, he was as disjointed as Crispin Glover on the David Letterman show, and at his lowest (highest?) point, he actually said that his answer to solving his state’s budget woes was to sell action figures of himself.
What better exemplar of the fall from glory that Barack Obama has experienced than that of a man who actually thinks he can save the government budget by producing little action figures of himself? This is the delusion that the American voter was sold unawares, and now is waking up to.
2009 began with a praised political figure pretending to fulfill the image of an action figure. 2010 ended with a failed political figure sticking to a ridiculous hope that his image as an action figure might save him from his ineptitude and political inexperience. Oh, also there was Alvin Greene….
The Meghan McCain BOOBY PRIZE
Last year, Meghan McCain gifted the world with a booby prize in the form of a Twitter avatar filled with boobage and, appropriately, a biography of Mr. “15 Minutes of Fame,” Andy Warhol. She protested the avi-inspired guffawing heard around teh internets by claiming she hadn’t meant to be sexy at all—-she always looked busty and bimbo-ish. When that induced ROFL hilarity, she huffily threatened to delete her account, then apologized and promo’d her new column.
Without further ado, the MeggieMac Booby Prize passes on to the 2010 winner…
[opens envelope, upside down]
Keith “MeggyBigMac” Olbermann!
[stunned silence…uproarious applause]
Yes, the Vegas bookmakers all had Georgia representative Hank Johnson as the odds-on favorite for his concern that adding more military to the US territory of Guam would cause the island to tip over.
But no, in a late year rush to snag the award, Olbermann has gone out of his way to become a master loco tweeter: Melting down, blowing up, quitting his account in a bluster and, like his award’s namesake, returning to the glory of public abuse and mockery.
To seal his emergency bid for the award, Olby’s ratings went to the bottom of the tank and inspired a series of wild twitrants against his nemesis and ratings powerhouse, Fox News. Thusly, he clinched the award for 2010‘s Booby of the Year and shall henceforth be known as OlberBoob.
Thank you all for joining us on this whirlwind tour of some of the more embarrassing and brain aneurysm-causing events of this last year through the eyes of 2009′s events! Once again, I’d like to thank my brilliant guest blogger, SooperMexican! Visit his site, buy his cartoon t-shirts, and follow him on Twitter! You won’t regret it because he mostly just uses my ideas!
Have a great New Year! (and forgive the Sooper-excessive use of exclamation marks found in this post…)