Today’s Phrase for Latin Lovers

Rex in Regno suo superiores habet Deum et Legem.

Translation:
The King in his Realm hath two superiors: God and the Law. -- Henry Care (1646-1688) on English liberties and the Magna Carta

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Ancient History

|Privacy | Prudence Potpourri

Beauty Queen Sexually Assaulted

Finally, a celebrity, a former Miss USA, has been forced to suffer the indignities of a TSA full-body pat-down and has come away crying. I say “finally” not because I want celebrities to be subjected to degrading interactions with their government like the rest of us commoners. No, I say it because only a celebrity can bring sufficient attention to the abuse. Only a celebrity can garner the celebrity-crazed media sympathy for him or her. Only a celebrity can be handed an instant megaphone to express her disgust at the foul treatment, no matter how “routine” or “professional” the TSA tries to say it is.

(That’s a far cry from media-craving lawyer Gloria Allred proclaiming last year that she actually enjoyed her airport governmental fondling, which actually explains somewhat—though not totally—her bizarre baseball-bat sex simulation in front of two young girls in pigtails last week. [Warning: TMZ presents the inappropriate, needless demonstration in its typically rude and vulgar manner.])

I feel very badly for the 2003 crowned beauty Susie Castillo and her traumatic experience at the hands of a Dallas TSA employee. No one should be forced to endure what she did. No government should ever have the right to run their hands over a citizen’s body if they have no warrant and that citizen is not under arrest.

Unfortunately, this now occurs every day in this country. We hear the outcry when video of a little girl being molested by Uncle Sam pops up, but the clamor over the same thing occurring to her mother and sisters and grandmothers has gone silent.

Here’s the video Castillo made after going through the ordeal and after she then talked to the TSA to register a complaint.

If you have suffered through a TSA full-body pat-down too, follow Castillo’s recommendations and speak up. That’s the only way this horrendous policy will get changed.

I, for one, have not flown since this radiate-or-grope policy was enacted, and I will not fly again until it is repealed.

Speak up. Fight for your liberty. It’s rapidly being stripped away.

*****
Related Prudy Posts:
Groping Towards Bethlehem
A New TSA Logo and Legislation
The 2010 Sooper Awards Ceremony

TSA Logo Toon, courtesy of SooperMexican. The TSA Logo is also available as a t-shirt. Click the toon above or click here to go to the store to order it.

|Nostalgia

The 2010 Sooper Awards Ceremony

As the internet rolls over into the New Year, I have joined with a highly entertaining guest blogger to present the 2010 Sooper Awards Ceremony. Please give a hand of applause to my friend and partner in political roasting, SooperMexican. We hope to make this an annual event, as we impart awards to political events of the past year through the rosy-colored lens of the year previous! Confused yet? Hang in there and it will become clear. (We hope.)

Let’s roll!

First up….

THE BEND-OVER BARACK AWARD

Last year, we saw a slew of Obama bending over backwards, forwards, and all over the place in order to placate our international detractors. He bowed to the Japanese Emperor, deeply bent for the Saudi King, and even made obeisance to the Tampa mayor. Fortunately for our weak stomachs, his prostrations before the unions and tort lawyers went un-photographed.

This year, the Bend-Over Barack Award goes to…

[opens the envelope]

the Mid-Term Election of 2010!

[surprised applause]

Yes, that’s right. The “Election of Recovery,” as they like to call it over at  SooperMexican Central, was a deep repudiation of all the slings and arrows that our fair president has flung at us, the common rabble, from atop his ill-gotten, gilded throne on Pennsylvania Avenue.

The unwashed, bitter-clinging masses have grown tired of his budget-obliterating spending, his vindictive, arrogant attitude, and his flaccid, inept execution of his elected obligations.

While his unapologetic bending over for foreign potentates and domestic opportunists took mere seconds, we hope and pray that this latter bending will continue well into the 2012 election!

NEXT!

THE STIMULATE AMERICA AWARD

The Obama administration got off to an aggressive start, manhandling the public assets in the most egregious way in the Great Stimulus Boondoggle of 2009. Joe Biden is still working on counting all the waste, fraud and abuse that was shipped from the public coffers to FOOs (Friends of Obama) around the world. Yes, world—-as in funding, say, a $832,200 genital-washing study in South Africa to stimulate the US economy.

This year, the Stimulate America Award goes to…

[opens the envelope]

the Transportation Safety Administration!

[applause, while removing shoes and belts]

Yes, the TSA has gone far beyond the call of duty—-and the 4th Amendment—-for getting up close and personal in their efforts to stimulate the public’s peace of mind by groping all their bits and pieces. f keeping the list of all the terrorists she catches with explosives in their pants. Of course she won’t catch any, because terrorists have myriad ways to go through all TSA procedures without having their bomb materials detected.

At least she’s done an excellent job keeping up the pretense that government-mandated sexual assault of the American public will keep us safe, while giving perverts and Gloria Allred a thrill. Just what a Secretary of Homeland Security is supposed to do.

OTRO MAS POR FAVOR!


THE PIMPIN’ AIN’T EASY AWARD

In 2009, we saw the beginning of the end for our favorite anti-American, government-subsidized community organization organizing the community for social injustice: ACORN, aka the Atheist Commie Organization for the Redistribution of NeoSocialism. The unlikely and surprising architects of its demise were the spunky and gaudily dressed James O’Keefe and his saucy accomplice, Hannah Giles. You all know the story by now, so let’s fast forward to the awardee for this year….

and the Pimpin’ Ain’t Easy Award goes to…

[opens the envelope]

the Death of the DREAM Act!

[sleepy applause]

In one of the most obvious and detestable shows of political pandering in recent memory, Harry Reid and the congressional Democrats concocted a bit of political theater for the birds – mashing up the freshly plucked wormy legislation we call the DREAM Act in their mealy mouths and force-feeding their gluttonous, self-serving constituents, the Hispanic supporters that kept a few of them in office.

Luckily for our stalwart Republic, this hastily written bill was only half-heartedly pushed by our Leftist friends, just enough to secure another election cycle’s worth of pigmented votes without actually effecting any change for the downtrodden serfs to whom they give only lip service.

Harry Reid out-pimped James O’Keefe by whoring out the Latin vote, taking it for all it’s worth, and spanking it on its bottom as he kicked ’er to the curb! Good job, Harry!

ORALE!

THE TWO-FACED JANUS AWARD

In ancient Greece, some citizens adorned the top of their doorways with the image of Janus, the double-faced god, symbolizing that every entry is also an exit. In 2009, it would have been appropriate to decorate the entrance of the Senate with the gnarled, wrinkly, grotesque image of Ben Nelson, leader of the Blue Dog Democrats, who promised to uphold their moral objection to the federal financing of abortions by refusing to vote for ObamaCare. Pro-life supporters wasted much effort calling to urge them to stick to their guns, but they chose to stick out their hands instead, accepting sleazy payoffs once Barack named the right price to purchase their principles.

For 2010, the only comparable competitor for the Two-Faced Janus Award is….

[opens the envelope]

The lame duck GOPers!

[applause as feather confetti flutters down]

After scoring an unprecedented victory in the 2010 elections, seizing the House of Reps and evening up the Senate, the Republicans decided to act as if they had been struck with amnesia, teleported themselves back to November 4th 2008, and eagerly re-assumed the role of defeated losers.

Once again, the GOP filled the Christmas season with the essence of lame. The American public gave them a mandate to reject the socialist, budget-busting, impotent policies of the Democrats, but the Republicans behaved like a cheap date, hardly even bothering to feign resistance while granting Obama another nearly trillion dollar stimulus bill, as described by Chuck Krauthammer.

At least good ol’ Nelson teased us a little before screwing us, but the GOPers made all the right noises, and gave it up to Barack only weeks later. Then to add insult to injury, they let him pass his ridiculous START treaty, allowing his sycophantic press to reenact the leg-tingly adoration and unearned esteem they lavished upon him two years ago.

Congrats, GOP. You sold out the country, but you won a coveted Janus award. Keep it up, and in two years, you’ll find out how easily an entrance can also be an exit.

Wait, There’s MORE!

THE AFRICAN-AMERICAN ACTION FIGURE AWARD

In 2009, Barack Obama chin-jutted his way through the dense jungle of prescient criticisms of his inexperience, arrogance, and unpreparedness. Still, he held out the dim candle of historic hope, and like voting moths to a flame, the American public flitted and followed him towards the radiance he claimed was the light at the end of the tunnel.

And still the gaudacity of hope sustained the hope-springs in the heart of man—earnest-sounding promises were made and swallowed, and everywhere a cult of Obama sprung up, selling icons of our savior borne of mystery.

As we all know, a prophet is always derided in his own hometown, and so this year, this Revelatory Icon Award goes to….

[opens envelope]

Alvin Greene!

[applause and fist bumps]

South Carolina’s leading Democrats howled when the unknown, unemployed man became their nominee to the US Senate seat, and they vigorously decried the legitimacy of his nomination. He beat the establishment democratic nominee without any campaigning, without any yard signs, prompting some to doubt whether he honestly won the nomination.

While running for a senate seat in the greatest country in the world since its inception 6,000 years ago, Alvin was also fending off prosecution for a felony obscenity charge, wherein he is accused of showing pornographic images to a unwilling 18-year-old woman. In interviews, he was as disjointed as Crispin Glover on the David Letterman show, and at his lowest (highest?) point, he actually said that his answer to solving his state’s budget woes was to sell action figures of himself.

What better exemplar of the fall from glory that Barack Obama has experienced than that of a man who actually thinks he can save the government budget by producing little action figures of himself? This is the delusion that the American voter was sold unawares, and now is waking up to.

2009 began with a praised political figure pretending to fulfill the image of an action figure. 2010 ended with a failed political figure sticking to a ridiculous hope that his image as an action figure might save him from his ineptitude and political inexperience. Oh, also there was Alvin Greene….

…AND Finally!

The Meghan McCain BOOBY PRIZE

Last year, Meghan McCain gifted the world with a booby prize in the form of a Twitter avatar filled with boobage and, appropriately, a biography of Mr. “15 Minutes of Fame,” Andy Warhol. She protested the avi-inspired guffawing heard around teh internets by claiming she hadn’t meant to be sexy at all—-she always looked busty and bimbo-ish. When that induced ROFL hilarity, she huffily threatened to delete her account, then apologized and promo’d her new column.

Without further ado, the MeggieMac Booby Prize passes on to the 2010 winner…

[opens envelope, upside down]

Keith “MeggyBigMac” Olbermann!

[stunned silence…uproarious applause]

Yes, the Vegas bookmakers all had Georgia representative Hank Johnson as the odds-on favorite for his concern that adding more military to the US territory of Guam would cause the island to tip over.

But no, in a late year rush to snag the award, Olbermann has gone out of his way to become a master loco tweeter: Melting down, blowing up, quitting his account in a bluster and, like his award’s namesake, returning to the glory of public abuse and mockery.

To seal his emergency bid for the award, Olby’s ratings went to the bottom of the tank and inspired a series of wild twitrants against his nemesis and ratings powerhouse, Fox News. Thusly, he clinched the award for 2010‘s Booby of the Year and shall henceforth be known as OlberBoob.

…se acabo!

Thank you all for joining us on this whirlwind tour of some of the more embarrassing and brain aneurysm-causing events of this last year through the eyes of 2009′s events! Once again, I’d like to thank my brilliant guest blogger, SooperMexican! Visit his site, buy his cartoon t-shirts, and follow him on Twitter! You won’t regret it because he mostly just uses my ideas!

Have a great New Year! (and forgive the Sooper-excessive use of exclamation marks found in this post…)

— Prudence

|Prudence Potpourri | Updated

Updated! A New TSA Logo and Legislation

The cartoonist SooperMexican has created a very apropos logo for the new TSA:

[T-shirts and sweatshirts featuring this spiffy logo are available here, just in time for your Thanksgiving flight or under the Christmas tree. There’s a size for everyone in your whole family—including the baby.]

Update ALERT! All products featuring SooperMexican’s cartoons can be gotten for 50% off during the 4-hour Friday Zazzle sale, which runs today, Friday 11/19 from 3pm ET to 7pm ET. Use code ALLFFHSDEALS at checkout. (If you miss the four-hour window, you can still get 20% off until Sunday night with the same code.) Sorry, but the sale has ended. However, check the Zazzle site frequently. They often have quick sales. Or follow @SooperMexican on Twitter for sale announcements.

It’s been quite amazing to watch even conservative commentators and anchors say they have no problem with having their groins inspected, all in the name of false, placebo security. Wouldn’t Gretchen Carlson and Brian Kilmeade be creeped out by having someone who watches them on TV, who thinks he knows them, feel their crotches and be able to tell his friends and families about it? Especially when it will have no effect in stopping a suicide bomber from secreting bomb materials in body cavities, or in cargo stored under the plane, or in a car in Times Square? Where is their dignity when they submit themselves to this invasion?

If this is no big deal, why doesn’t Janet Napolitano have an enhanced patdown done in public. Let us see her go through the experience and say it’s no biggie. Let us watch all of the Obamas, and all cabinet members, and Supreme Court judges, and all of Congress subject themselves to the patdowns. If it’s supposed to be okay for all of us, show us how unoffensive it is, how Constitutional it is. And ladies, no fair wearing pants during the procedure. Show us you have no problem having someone’s hands under your skirt, separated from skin by just a thin layer of fabric, if you wear more than a thong.

At least one legislator gets it. Rep. Ron Paul (R-TX) has introduced legislation: the American Traveler Dignity Act (HR 6416). That’s the perfect title, with the key word being “Dignity.”

Here’s Paul’s short speech on the floor of the House announcing his bill:

The text of Paul’s legislation:

A BILL – HR 6416

To ensure that certain Federal employees cannot hide behind immunity.

Be it enacted by the Senate and House of Representatives of the United States of America in Congress assembled,

SECTION 1. NO IMMUNITY FOR CERTAIN AIRPORT SCREENING METHODS.

No law of the United States shall be construed to confer any immunity for a Federal employee or agency or any individual or entity that receives Federal funds, who subjects an individual to any physical contact (including contact with any clothing the individual is wearing), x-rays, or millimeter waves, or aids in the creation of or views a representation of any part of a individual’s body covered by clothing as a condition for such individual to be in an airport or to fly in an aircraft. The preceding sentence shall apply even if the individual or the individual’s parent, guardian, or any other individual gives consent.

It doesn’t ban the procedures, unfortunately. But at least any and all TSA agents will be subject to criminal and civil penalties if they do anything wrong—and you know they will. We can hope that should this pass, enough TSA agents would refuse to open themselves to such legal ramifications and the policies will be forced to change.

Stand up, America. Do more than just ordering a set of body scan pasties. Engage in civil disobedience on November 24 and refuse the full-body scans and enhanced patdowns. Resist unreasonable search and seizure that Missouri Senator Claire McCaskill calls “love pats.” [Note: McCaskill is up for reelection in 2012.]

Update: Former Senator Rick Santorum takes a stand against the “enhanced screenings, as well as Mary Katherine Ham.