Today’s Phrase for Latin Lovers

Rex in Regno suo superiores habet Deum et Legem.

Translation:
The King in his Realm hath two superiors: God and the Law. -- Henry Care (1646-1688) on English liberties and the Magna Carta

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Ancient History

|The Left

Planned Parenthood Seeks to Restrict Access to Birth Control

BirthControlPillsLast week, Planned Parenthood announced its opposition to Republican proposals to make contraceptives easily accessible as non-prescription, over-the-counter (OTC) drugs.

Let me paraphrase Planned Parenthood’s three points of opposition:

1) The expanded access to birth control is being offered by icky Republicans, such as Colorado Senate candidate Cory Gardner. Republicans hate women. Ergo, vote for Sen. Mark Udall (D-CO).

Planned Parenthood claims that GOP efforts to expand birth control access is “an empty gesture,” because (get ready for non sequiturs) Republicans want to repeal Obamacare and support the First Amendment’s guarantee of religious freedom.

The Washington Examiner notes that “A number of Republican Senate candidates have backed over-the-counter birth control in races this year, including Cory Gardner in Colorado, Thom Tillis in North Carolina, Ed Gillespie in Virginia, Mike McFadden in Minnesota.”

What the leading abortion provider’s press release does not mention is that OTC contraceptives would free many women from having to go to (and pay) its offices to get a prescription for the drugs. If birth control pills were easy to get over-the-counter, it would lose a tremendous revenue stream. It benefits when the government forces women to go to its prescription-writing centers. It benefits by restricting a woman’s access to birth control.

By Planned Parenthood’s own 2012 statistics, 34 percent of its revenue comes from “contraception” services, of which it says 37.9 percent are “oral” contraceptives. That’s 13 percent of its annual dollars that could vanish if birth control pills were sold next to aspirin and antacids.

Its 2013 annual report shows Planned Parenthood took in $1.2 billion dollars, so it stands to lose $156 million a year if GOP proposals gained ground.

No wonder its leaders say women should be insulted. The women in its accounting department will sure be. Those Republican plots are nefarious indeed.

2) The Republicans plan to make birth control cheaply and easily available to all women on store shelves everywhere. But Republicans do not plan to fill store aisles with IUDs and other contraceptive methods that require a medical procedure. Therefore, no birth control (except the already available condoms, spermicides and “Plan B” pill) should ever be sold OTC.

This is like claiming that because grocery stores can’t offer open heart surgery in the pharmacy aisle, they shouldn’t be able to sell aspirin either.

Planned Parenthood is afraid that if birth control pills are put outside of the pharmacist’s cupboard, then insurance companies won’t have to cover them with no co-pay, and therefore somehow any medically provided contraception would also not be covered.

But there’s no one pushing for that. Instead of allowing tens of millions of women to easily obtain contraception, Planned Parenthood wants to ensure it remains the gatekeeper, and restrict a woman’s access to birth control.

3) Since OTC drugs don’t require a prescription, some women may pay for their own birth control instead of having an insurance company do it. Therefore, no women should be able to have access to OTC birth control pills.

This is comparable to arguing that because Nexium is now available as an OTC drug (at a significantly reduced price), I can’t get a prescription for it and have the insurance company pay. That’s not true.

Granted, the insurance company may prefer that I buy it for myself off the shelf, but while insurance companies may change their formularies for prescription coverage all the time without much public clamor, there’s no way they can change their coverage of birth control pills without clothes-rending and wailing from groups like Planned Parenthood and government intervention from HHS.

Note that it was the Democrats in their design of Obamacare that intentionally stripped out all coverage under Health Savings Accounts of over-the-counter drugs unless they were accompanied by prescription. Seems like someone was trying to protect a few prescription writers’ cash cows.

Planned Parenthood also sides with pharmaceutical companies as it notes in underlined text in their press release: “there is not a single manufacturer that has submitted an application to the FDA to [sell its product over-the-counter].

That same press release says “In 2013, 56 percent of women paid no out-of-pocket costs for prescription birth control, up from 14 percent in 2012.” This means that 44 percent of women did pay out-of-pocket costs. At the very least, those 44 percent are being needlessly inconvenienced by OTC access opponents such as Planned Parenthood.

All in all, the fears that Planned Parenthood expresses as an effort to stop the Republican plan to give women greater access to contraception belies its true agenda: protecting Democrats, precription writers, Big Pharma and its 156 million dollar pot of birth control pills.

[originally posted at LegalInsurrection.com]

|Pop Culture

Obamacare Sales Pitch Gets Desperate

The Obamacare enrollment numbers stink, especially when looking at how few young people are signing up to strap on the healthcare costs of the nation like a bunch of foolish pack mules. So what’s a failed government program to do to save a presidential legacy?

Knowing their target market are the types that would be willing to lick a toad to get high, the Obamacare sales force is resorting to the intoxicating mating dance of the newt. That’s right. Their last ditch effort is the Salamander Shimmy, to the tune of “Drop It Like It’s a Horney Newt.”

Feast your eyes.

The rap video clip is from a new ad/music video by Covered California for their contribution to the Obama administration’s #GetCovered campaign. The Obama impersonator, Iman Crosson, who has done other Obama-praising rap videos throughout the president’s five years in office, again sings the praises of “President Barack, President Barack, President Barack” who is “two terms strong” and “when my critics get an attitude, I tell ’em to stop.” And that Obamacare stuff? Pseudo-Barack raps that you should “sign up, ’cause it’s hot.”

Plus I’ve got this healthcare which has got it going on! [their exclamation point]
….
Affordable healthcare officially a “go”! [again their !!!!!]
That’s better than what we had a year ago! [again, drop it like it’s ditto!!]

Now here’s the sales pitch for salamander youth:

Your options are really wide ‘sprizzead’
Don’t worry ’bout what them, they, her or he said.
I can educate you, this can be your health ed. [so shout out to Common Core!]
Jump on your mom’s plan that’s how you get ‘ahizzead.’

Wait, is signing up for Obamacare and paying for old people’s healthcare the same as your mom adding an extra person to her policy? Ok, I’m interfering with the sales pitch like some old fogey over 26. Back to the hip messagizzead!!

Pres and I’m the man, been the Pres since “Yes We Can”
And I dealt with all this healthcare while dealing with Iran! [so…2 ka-BOOMs?]
So don’t try to talk about my plan like the people haven’t wanted this [Eminem this Iman is not]
They’ve waited long for this
And it covers all conditions that could preexist? [their question mark. lol]
You should think about it. Take a second.
Matter of fact, you should take it easy
And rock to this jam from ‘B-Rock O-Beezy’

Last verse is a lulu:

If you choose it just use it they can’t refuse it
No preexisting condition could ever make you lose it.
So tell a friend or a random guy
I’ve got a game changer right here that saves lives. [except for the ones it decides to kill]
So don’t stand and diddle, my healthcare’s the ‘shizzle.’
It’s chock full of top notch healthcare ‘provizzles!’ [like maternity care for men and pediatric dental for gramps…mandated by the Presizzle]
We’ll cover all your ‘vizzles’, your ‘dizzles’ AND your ‘tizzles’
Now while you figure all that out, it’s back to that ‘chorizzle.’

So they even admit they’re throwing a bunch of malarkizzle at you, full of nonsense, knowing no one can figure it out, so let’s get on with the chorus while you sign up anyway.

It’s like telling the youth of America at their graduation ceremony to ignore any voices warning you of tyranny. Who needs liberty when you can #GetCovered in government?

_________
Muchas gracias to a mystery man of disputed ethnicity for his superb editing assistance in bringing this news flash to you.

|Prudence Potpourri | The Left

See: Pushy Old People Stealing From Their Grandkids

A group calling themselves the Coalition to Protect America’s Health Care is running the following commercial of self-righteous cranky geezers demanding that Congress continue bankrupting America for their benefit:

Don’t you love having a lecturing old lady glaring at you over the top of her spectacles? Once again, it’s liberals treating the citizens like misbehaving children. It doesn’t engender any sympathy in me. I find it downright insulting.

The odd thing is that this group, “Coalition to Protect America’s Health Care,” is supposedly up in arms over $100 billion in cuts to Medicare, and yet there was not a peep out of them during the ObamaCare passage that slashed $500 billion out of the program. Why weren’t they trying to Protect America’s Health Care from decimation then?

The answer to that question can be found at their website. Take a look at their list of campaigns, and you’ll see that they only oppose Republican efforts to save the Medicare program, but they have no problem with the Democrats raiding their benefits for their nefarious purposes. (The one time they were on the Republican side was in their clamor for the new entitlement of prescription drugs in Medicare.)

They are quite good at alarming the public—particularly old people—with their advertising, which proposes no revamping of the Medicare/Medicaid systems to save them. It just screams, as it shoves its way onto our TVs, that we need to just keep feeding the monster more money. Forget that we’re bankrupting the nation. Of their bullying success, they say:

  • Since 2000 we have seen an impressive return on investment:
    • Payment improvements: $37.5 billion…return of $2,100 for every dollar invested
    •  With reductions avoided: $457 billion…return of $30,000 for every dollar invested
  • In addition, the Coalition’s advertising moved public opinion and established a base of knowledge in communities about the financial pressures facing hospitals. Survey research completed by Public Opinion Strategies revealed that, in markets that saw no Coalition advertising, 42% of respondents said hospitals faced “good times,” and 36% said hospitals faced “bad times.”
  • In markets where all of the Coalition advertising was seen, there was a dramatic difference—only 27% reported “good times” and 55% said hospitals were facing “bad times.”

Take a look at the three people in that ad above. Each one of them is literally stealing the money right out of the piggy banks of their grandchildren. Do they care about that? Look at their faces. The answer is written all over them: NO.

Unfortunately for the advertisers, in the new proposed debt ceiling deal, it’s Barack Obama, not Republicans, who has now put another $500 billion in Medicare cuts up as his preferred “punishment” when the Super Committee fails to come up with any agreeable plan for $1.4 trillion more in cuts.

Let’s see how long they keep running the commercial now.

 

|Letters

Please, Please, Please Don't Fix ObamaCare

Senator McConnell,

It has been quite dismaying to hear you talk of negotiation and compromise. You apparently don’t understand what happened on Tuesday. It was not a call for you to start trying to get some stuff done in allowing the Obama agenda to proceed, just at a moderated pace. Tuesday was millions of shouts from the hills and dales of America to stop it and to turn it back.

Obama loved to joke that on the car gear shift, D was for Democrat and R was for Republican. But it’s no joke. In Obama’s car, sitting in his back seat, that’s exactly what we want you to do. Put it in Republican and reverse the vast damage done in just 21 short months. Save this country from going over the cliff. Don’t move forward one more perilous inch.

Here’s what we don’t want you to do: Please, please, please do not try to “fix” ObamaCare. Don’t try to make it less painful, or less egregious. That’s exactly what the opposition wants you to do. (Listen, you can hear them chuckling in the next room as they listen to your pronouncements of reasonableness.) You are falling into their trap.

Tell them it’s all or nothing. Repeal or be proud of what they have done to us. They forced that huge pile of stinking, rotting refuse on us. Let them live with the results—the painful, oppressive, outrageous results that haven’t even started to kick in yet.

See, if you don’t do anything to fix it, if you leave it huge and hulking and crushing, just think of the outcry that will rise up around the land when it’s time to file our 1099 forms. Democrats will hear from their constituents, “How could you?” When more companies start removing health insurance from their benefit plans, the calls will flood the Democrats again. Squeak, squeak, squeak will turn into raging roars to get rid of the bill.

But if you agree to fiddle with the bill, fix 10 or 15 of the 2,300 pages in the bill, you lose all the squeaky wheels clamoring for repeal. The drive loses its force, becomes less urgent, less dire. Other things will become more important. And that’s just what the Democrats are hoping for.

If you agree to “dismantle” it piecemeal, the takeover will be secured; they’ll continue to have scores of new boards and regulating agencies with thousands of unelected bureaucrats making up new rules as they go along, kowtowing to the administration’s whims and grudges and extortions. We’ll have a national database of all of our medical records with no right to privacy. (The day Bill Clinton and Barrack Obama permit every tiny bit of their intimate medical data to be in the database with everyone else’s with no added security on it to protect it from prying eyes, is the day I’ll consider putting mine in.) We’ll have IRS agents not only inspecting all aspects of our financial condition but they’ll be worrying about our medical choices as well.

Plus, by the time the GOP has the presidency again, you’ll not only have to repeal the original bill, but you’ll have to repeal all your little fixes and then replace those fixes with new bills while trying to craft a new original bill that merely provides for free market solutions. It’ll never get done. It will be too much. Someone will want a little something different here for a vote there. Just stop it before you even have to start playing that game.

So I beg you: Don’t, please don’t, try to fix it. It is unfixable, period. Fixing the “most egregious provisions” will murder us by killing the best medical system in the world.

In fact, please drop the phrase “most egregious” from your talking points. It’s all egregious.

Please stand firm in your call for repeal. Have vote after vote for repeal, straight-up repeal. The country is behind you on that, and continued effort at full repeal will protect you from the continued fury with which the Democrats will have to deal.

It will not be easy. You will have to keep your spine braced for two long years, because the “egregious” parts will be slowly dripping out on the nation like water torture.

Can you withstand the pressure, Mr. Leader? If you can’t, we need to have someone else in your position who can. You’re up for reelection when?

[crossposted at Red State]

|Greetings | Prudence Potpourri

The Week in Political Cartoons

In the wake of the Arizona shootings, the left and their media pals have resumed their high-pitched calls for gun control.  Legislation has been proposed in Congress making it illegal to carry a gun within 1,000 feet of any federal official. Note: I’ve heard there are… well, an impossibly large number (between 100,000 and 2 million) of “federal officials.” Would anyone ever be not within 1,000 feet of one of them? How would you ever know for sure?

(via Brian Farrington at Townhall)

In the meantime, the media and left-wingers tried to push the mantra of “New Tone,” insisting that the Tucson massacre was the result of civil incivility, even though there is clear evidence that assassin Jared Lee Loughner had long been off his rocker and was influenced by the incivility in his own head, not by anything some pundit or politician said.

(via Michael Ramirez at Townhall)

Yet, the most long-running legalized massacre in history crossed its 38th anniversary:

(via Gary Varvel at Townhall)

Or perhaps this cartoon better celebrates the spirit of Roe v. Wade:

(via Gary McCoy at Townhall)

In other major events, one of our major creditors came to visit their investment and to have us whisper sweet nothings in their ear.

(via Glenn McCoy at Townhall)

Legislators actually began contemplating crafting bankruptcy laws for states, as California appears ready to lead a number of them off the cliff. For the taxpayers, bankruptcy definitely makes the pain swift yet short. With bailouts, the pain and financial mismanagement will drag on for years, generations even, unless the dire problem with public union pensions is addressed.

(via Bob Gorrell at Townhall)

And the national debt bore down on us all as we neared our debt ceiling.

(via Jerry Holbert at Townhall)

Yet, in a positive move, the GOP-dominated House voted to repeal ObamaCare, with more votes and more bipartisanship than the original passage of the monster had.

(via Lisa Benson at Townhall)

And finally, in a sure sign that the stars are currently aligned against us, experts announced that the true dates of each astrological sign have been woefully inaccurate for decades, centuries even.

(via Steve Kelley at Townhall)

Th-th-that’s all folks.

|Prudence Potpourri | Tea Party

Michelle Malkin Is Wrong

On her blog, last Thursday, Michelle Malkin wrote:

Yes, I said “kill it.”

Yes, it’s a “job-killer.”

And yes, thank goodness, the Republicans are not retreating.

What’s she talking about? The provision in the ObamaCare bill that will require all businesses to file 1099 forms for every company with whom they spend $600 or more each year.

This provision is so onerous that the paperwork alone could shut down the entire independent trucking industry, not to mention inflict massive pain on small businesses in every town, village and hamlet across the land.

This is precisely why the Republicans should not repeal this provision individually. It is exactly why Boehner and McConnell should resist all efforts to cut off this tiny hangnail on the pinkie finger of the hulking monster that is ObamaCare.

As I wrote in an open letter to Senator McConnell on this issue previously:

Please, please, please do not try to “fix” ObamaCare. Don’t try to make it less painful, or less egregious. That’s exactly what the opposition wants you to do. (Listen, you can hear them chuckling in the next room as they listen to your pronouncements of reasonableness.) You are falling into their trap.

Tell them it’s all or nothing. Repeal or be proud of what they have done to us. They forced that huge pile of stinking, rotting refuse on us. Let them live with the results—the painful, oppressive, outrageous results that haven’t even started to kick in yet.

See, if you don’t do anything to fix it, if you leave it huge and hulking and crushing, just think of the outcry that will rise up around the land when it’s time to file our 1099 forms. Democrats will hear from their constituents, “How could you?” When more companies start removing health insurance from their benefit plans, the calls will flood the Democrats again. Squeak, squeak, squeak will turn into raging roars to get rid of the bill.

But if you agree to fiddle with the bill, fix 10 or 15 of the 2,300 pages in the bill, you lose all the squeaky wheels clamoring for repeal. The drive loses its force, becomes less urgent, less dire. Other things will become more important. And that’s just what the Democrats are hoping for.

Already the number of people that are irate over the law is declining, with a new AP poll out showing that those strongly opposing the law has fallen to 30%. Even within the Republican base, the poll results (however fickle they may be) show the marathon run to repeal is exhausting many citizens:

As for repeal, only about one in four say they want to do away with the law completely. Among Republicans support for repeal has dropped sharply, from 61 percent after the elections to 49 percent now.

If Congress fixes even one tiny portion of the bill, they peel off a percent or two more from those declaring themselves “strongly opposed” in the polls. The media will take those lowered numbers and run with them held high like a battle banner. They will proclaim all efforts to repeal anything substantial to be dead, unwanted, unnecessary.

Our huddled masses just can’t sustain a vigilant passion for long—for anything. The election eased some of the pent-up steam. Now many people just want to get back to their lives and hope Congress does the right thing.

That right thing is complete repeal of ObamaCare, not fixing it up piecemeal.

I’m sorry to have to call Michelle Malkin out on this one. I usually agree with her quite readily. But on this issue of “fixing” ObamaCare to eliminate the 1099 provision, she’s wrong.

If the Republicans (and Blue Dog Democrats) in Congress misplay their hand, we will be saddled for generations with the full weight of ObamaCare, until it completely destroys our health care system. Then the future media can run stories about how all the wealthy people and their politician friends go to someplace like Burundi to partake of their renowned, vastly superior medical services.

|Nostalgia

The 2010 Sooper Awards Ceremony

As the internet rolls over into the New Year, I have joined with a highly entertaining guest blogger to present the 2010 Sooper Awards Ceremony. Please give a hand of applause to my friend and partner in political roasting, SooperMexican. We hope to make this an annual event, as we impart awards to political events of the past year through the rosy-colored lens of the year previous! Confused yet? Hang in there and it will become clear. (We hope.)

Let’s roll!

First up….

THE BEND-OVER BARACK AWARD

Last year, we saw a slew of Obama bending over backwards, forwards, and all over the place in order to placate our international detractors. He bowed to the Japanese Emperor, deeply bent for the Saudi King, and even made obeisance to the Tampa mayor. Fortunately for our weak stomachs, his prostrations before the unions and tort lawyers went un-photographed.

This year, the Bend-Over Barack Award goes to…

[opens the envelope]

the Mid-Term Election of 2010!

[surprised applause]

Yes, that’s right. The “Election of Recovery,” as they like to call it over at  SooperMexican Central, was a deep repudiation of all the slings and arrows that our fair president has flung at us, the common rabble, from atop his ill-gotten, gilded throne on Pennsylvania Avenue.

The unwashed, bitter-clinging masses have grown tired of his budget-obliterating spending, his vindictive, arrogant attitude, and his flaccid, inept execution of his elected obligations.

While his unapologetic bending over for foreign potentates and domestic opportunists took mere seconds, we hope and pray that this latter bending will continue well into the 2012 election!

NEXT!

THE STIMULATE AMERICA AWARD

The Obama administration got off to an aggressive start, manhandling the public assets in the most egregious way in the Great Stimulus Boondoggle of 2009. Joe Biden is still working on counting all the waste, fraud and abuse that was shipped from the public coffers to FOOs (Friends of Obama) around the world. Yes, world—-as in funding, say, a $832,200 genital-washing study in South Africa to stimulate the US economy.

This year, the Stimulate America Award goes to…

[opens the envelope]

the Transportation Safety Administration!

[applause, while removing shoes and belts]

Yes, the TSA has gone far beyond the call of duty—-and the 4th Amendment—-for getting up close and personal in their efforts to stimulate the public’s peace of mind by groping all their bits and pieces. f keeping the list of all the terrorists she catches with explosives in their pants. Of course she won’t catch any, because terrorists have myriad ways to go through all TSA procedures without having their bomb materials detected.

At least she’s done an excellent job keeping up the pretense that government-mandated sexual assault of the American public will keep us safe, while giving perverts and Gloria Allred a thrill. Just what a Secretary of Homeland Security is supposed to do.

OTRO MAS POR FAVOR!


THE PIMPIN’ AIN’T EASY AWARD

In 2009, we saw the beginning of the end for our favorite anti-American, government-subsidized community organization organizing the community for social injustice: ACORN, aka the Atheist Commie Organization for the Redistribution of NeoSocialism. The unlikely and surprising architects of its demise were the spunky and gaudily dressed James O’Keefe and his saucy accomplice, Hannah Giles. You all know the story by now, so let’s fast forward to the awardee for this year….

and the Pimpin’ Ain’t Easy Award goes to…

[opens the envelope]

the Death of the DREAM Act!

[sleepy applause]

In one of the most obvious and detestable shows of political pandering in recent memory, Harry Reid and the congressional Democrats concocted a bit of political theater for the birds – mashing up the freshly plucked wormy legislation we call the DREAM Act in their mealy mouths and force-feeding their gluttonous, self-serving constituents, the Hispanic supporters that kept a few of them in office.

Luckily for our stalwart Republic, this hastily written bill was only half-heartedly pushed by our Leftist friends, just enough to secure another election cycle’s worth of pigmented votes without actually effecting any change for the downtrodden serfs to whom they give only lip service.

Harry Reid out-pimped James O’Keefe by whoring out the Latin vote, taking it for all it’s worth, and spanking it on its bottom as he kicked ’er to the curb! Good job, Harry!

ORALE!

THE TWO-FACED JANUS AWARD

In ancient Greece, some citizens adorned the top of their doorways with the image of Janus, the double-faced god, symbolizing that every entry is also an exit. In 2009, it would have been appropriate to decorate the entrance of the Senate with the gnarled, wrinkly, grotesque image of Ben Nelson, leader of the Blue Dog Democrats, who promised to uphold their moral objection to the federal financing of abortions by refusing to vote for ObamaCare. Pro-life supporters wasted much effort calling to urge them to stick to their guns, but they chose to stick out their hands instead, accepting sleazy payoffs once Barack named the right price to purchase their principles.

For 2010, the only comparable competitor for the Two-Faced Janus Award is….

[opens the envelope]

The lame duck GOPers!

[applause as feather confetti flutters down]

After scoring an unprecedented victory in the 2010 elections, seizing the House of Reps and evening up the Senate, the Republicans decided to act as if they had been struck with amnesia, teleported themselves back to November 4th 2008, and eagerly re-assumed the role of defeated losers.

Once again, the GOP filled the Christmas season with the essence of lame. The American public gave them a mandate to reject the socialist, budget-busting, impotent policies of the Democrats, but the Republicans behaved like a cheap date, hardly even bothering to feign resistance while granting Obama another nearly trillion dollar stimulus bill, as described by Chuck Krauthammer.

At least good ol’ Nelson teased us a little before screwing us, but the GOPers made all the right noises, and gave it up to Barack only weeks later. Then to add insult to injury, they let him pass his ridiculous START treaty, allowing his sycophantic press to reenact the leg-tingly adoration and unearned esteem they lavished upon him two years ago.

Congrats, GOP. You sold out the country, but you won a coveted Janus award. Keep it up, and in two years, you’ll find out how easily an entrance can also be an exit.

Wait, There’s MORE!

THE AFRICAN-AMERICAN ACTION FIGURE AWARD

In 2009, Barack Obama chin-jutted his way through the dense jungle of prescient criticisms of his inexperience, arrogance, and unpreparedness. Still, he held out the dim candle of historic hope, and like voting moths to a flame, the American public flitted and followed him towards the radiance he claimed was the light at the end of the tunnel.

And still the gaudacity of hope sustained the hope-springs in the heart of man—earnest-sounding promises were made and swallowed, and everywhere a cult of Obama sprung up, selling icons of our savior borne of mystery.

As we all know, a prophet is always derided in his own hometown, and so this year, this Revelatory Icon Award goes to….

[opens envelope]

Alvin Greene!

[applause and fist bumps]

South Carolina’s leading Democrats howled when the unknown, unemployed man became their nominee to the US Senate seat, and they vigorously decried the legitimacy of his nomination. He beat the establishment democratic nominee without any campaigning, without any yard signs, prompting some to doubt whether he honestly won the nomination.

While running for a senate seat in the greatest country in the world since its inception 6,000 years ago, Alvin was also fending off prosecution for a felony obscenity charge, wherein he is accused of showing pornographic images to a unwilling 18-year-old woman. In interviews, he was as disjointed as Crispin Glover on the David Letterman show, and at his lowest (highest?) point, he actually said that his answer to solving his state’s budget woes was to sell action figures of himself.

What better exemplar of the fall from glory that Barack Obama has experienced than that of a man who actually thinks he can save the government budget by producing little action figures of himself? This is the delusion that the American voter was sold unawares, and now is waking up to.

2009 began with a praised political figure pretending to fulfill the image of an action figure. 2010 ended with a failed political figure sticking to a ridiculous hope that his image as an action figure might save him from his ineptitude and political inexperience. Oh, also there was Alvin Greene….

…AND Finally!

The Meghan McCain BOOBY PRIZE

Last year, Meghan McCain gifted the world with a booby prize in the form of a Twitter avatar filled with boobage and, appropriately, a biography of Mr. “15 Minutes of Fame,” Andy Warhol. She protested the avi-inspired guffawing heard around teh internets by claiming she hadn’t meant to be sexy at all—-she always looked busty and bimbo-ish. When that induced ROFL hilarity, she huffily threatened to delete her account, then apologized and promo’d her new column.

Without further ado, the MeggieMac Booby Prize passes on to the 2010 winner…

[opens envelope, upside down]

Keith “MeggyBigMac” Olbermann!

[stunned silence…uproarious applause]

Yes, the Vegas bookmakers all had Georgia representative Hank Johnson as the odds-on favorite for his concern that adding more military to the US territory of Guam would cause the island to tip over.

But no, in a late year rush to snag the award, Olbermann has gone out of his way to become a master loco tweeter: Melting down, blowing up, quitting his account in a bluster and, like his award’s namesake, returning to the glory of public abuse and mockery.

To seal his emergency bid for the award, Olby’s ratings went to the bottom of the tank and inspired a series of wild twitrants against his nemesis and ratings powerhouse, Fox News. Thusly, he clinched the award for 2010‘s Booby of the Year and shall henceforth be known as OlberBoob.

…se acabo!

Thank you all for joining us on this whirlwind tour of some of the more embarrassing and brain aneurysm-causing events of this last year through the eyes of 2009′s events! Once again, I’d like to thank my brilliant guest blogger, SooperMexican! Visit his site, buy his cartoon t-shirts, and follow him on Twitter! You won’t regret it because he mostly just uses my ideas!

Have a great New Year! (and forgive the Sooper-excessive use of exclamation marks found in this post…)

— Prudence